Last night the Horse Heiress called me out of nowhere for the first time in like a year. Two years? There’s no way of knowing. She asked me to take a 6 downtown for drinks but as you know if you follow me on Twitter, I was on an unexpected vacation.
“It’s been so long!” she said.
“I know,” I said, and, because I could tell that she was just a little looser than usual, I asked what she was drinking.
“A shirley temple! Have you had one of these?”
I had. Have? I was very young, maybe seven, and on a vacation to Orlando, Florida, where I would later live. This first time around, though, the whole of the city may as well have been Disney. I was with my sister and her husband, who traveled there for a tractor conference, and at one business meetup a bartender was memorably excited to hand me a shirley temple in a short glass. Bang! All that sugar nearly blew out my vision.
“I was thinking about your idea,” she said. “Something happened while I was in New York–well, it happened in the Pony Isles–and your business suddenly made sense.”
“You weirdo.” By which she meant my idea for a service agency. When your wife leaves you or your job fires you or your friend says you’re not a good influence and so you need to keep away, you sign up with You Weirdo and we monitor your social accounts and your email and your text messages and your paper mail if you’re still into that and when you start to get weird we intervene. There’s a monthly maintenance fee you can cancel when you get your life back on track. And if you don’t have the money you can go with the free account where all monitoring is handled by the community. In that arrangement we monetize the discussion space with sidebar ads.